I’ve always been thinking that maybe is, well, just that: maybe, and not some niceish no. “Do you want to go out with me?” Crossed out boxes traveling middle school classrooms hidden inside crumpled up notes, and the maybe I could live – daydream with.
For the most part, I was just the delivery dork though, getting my pencil out in excitement, when she’d tap me on the shoulder. Pass it on.
So today it happened, I saw the first white dude in shorts. And it wasn’t me.
And still, I don’t quite know what to do with it, maybe it’ll remain just that: a brain backup. I have a feeling that some of the best conversations get cut short when s/he simply pushes the wrong button, a quick return, and publishes the ask. Him not eying the blog, and it endlessly scrolling away unseen. And I don’t even know who you are. Let me see your brain.
“I was dreading going back. Missing school is like a death wish. A lot can happen in a few days. When Sam was out with the flu, everyone decided she was a big lesbian, and she spent the rest of the month eating lunch in the library.” –Kate, Lick the Star
And everything that ever happens, happens during the time that you’re not at school, while nothing ever does when you’re there.
Lick the Star, 1998
Sofia Coppola’s fourteen-minute-long middle school microcosm.